CALVARY

I am terribly ashamed of myself. How could I have ran and left Jesus alone to deal with the I believe was at least 60 if not more Roman soldiers, elders and chief priests. The Roman soldiers looked menacing carrying their swords and many had clubs. Jesus asked them who they were looking for and they said Jesus. Did you see what happened when he said I Am. They all fell back to the ground. You would think that was a "little" odd wouldn't you? I was astounded watching Judas greet Jesus with a kiss. A kiss of betrayal. Hadn't he been with us all those years following our Lord? But, who am I to talk I didn't stay around to help my Lord now did I?

It only seems like such a short time ago that we were observing what I considered was a perfect Passover night. Jesus leading us in the Seder and all of us enjoying and relaxing together. The highlights of that dinner are numerous. From Jesus teaching us about a new covenant that was His body that was broken and his blood that was shed for us, to him washing our feet, to teaching us about who is greatest in His kingdom, and one of my favorites was listening to him pray. There was Jesus Christ the son of God praying to God the Father these words. How incredibly intimate and personal.

Here is His prayer.
Father the hour has come! Glorify your Son that your Son will glorify you as you have given Him authority over all flesh that He should give eternal life to as many as you have given Him. This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God and me, Jesus, Christ, whom You have sent. I have glorified You on the earth. I finished the work which You have given Me to do. O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was. I have manifested Your name to the those whom You have given Me out of the world. They were Yours, You gave them to Me and they have kept Your word. Now they have known that all things which You have given Me are from You. For I have given to them the words which you have given me and they have received them and have known surely that I came forth from you; and they have believed that You sent Me. I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me. For they are Yours. All Mine are Yours and Yours are Mine and I am glorified in them. I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world and I come to you Holy Father keep through Your name those whom You have given me, that they may be one as We are. While I was with them in the world, I kept them in Your name. Those whom You gave Me I have kept and none of them is lost except the son of perdition that Scripture might be fulfilled. But now I came to You and these things I speak in the world that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them Your word and they world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. Sanctify them by your truth. Your word is truth.

I think about all those powerful moments at Passover and then about my running away being a coward. How could I have done that? I know I tried to follow from far enough away so that I wouldn't be noticed. I wanted to watch what they were going to do to Jesus. They took Him to Annas's house, Caiphas's father in law. Then they took him Caiphas who is the current High Priest. Why did they have him all tied up? He had never been physical with any of them.

I saw Peter and quite a few people standing next to a fire in Caiphas's courtyard trying to stay warm as it was a chilly night. I couldn't make out all of it as I was quite a distance away but, I saw a couple of girls go up to Peter and say something to him. Peter was shaking his head for some reason I couldn't hear what they said to him. A little while later, I heard Peter swearing and talking loudly saying he didn't know the Man. Right then, I saw Jesus turn around and look Peter straight in the eye. It was getting to be almost daylight and a rooster crowed in the distance. Peter ran out from the courtyard fairly quickly and I could hear him weeping bitterly.

The chief priests and elders took Jesus to Pontius Pilate who is the governor. There was quite a crowd gathering watching was happening and the word was spreading quickly around town. Pilate asked him point blank, "Are You the King of the Jews?" Jesus answered him, "It is as you say." The chief priests and elders were accusing Jesus quite heatedly and yet Jesus didn't respond and answer any of their allegations. Pilate was amazed and asked him, "Do You not hear how many things they testify against you?" Yet, Jesus didn't answer him. I think Pilate remembered that it was a custom to release to the crowd a prisoner whom they wished to have released. The most notorious prisoner whom everyone despised in town was Barabbas. So, Pilate asked the crowd, "Do you want me to release Barabbas or Jesus who is called Christ." I knew Pilate knew Jesus had done nothing wrong but that the elders and chief priests hated him because of envy. Oddly, I saw Pilate's wife walk up to him and whisper something to him. Later, I would find out she told him, "Have nothing to do with that Man, for I have suffered many things today in a dream because of Him." The chief priests and elders were persuading the crowd that they should ask for Barabbas and kill Jesus. Again, Pilate asked, "Which of the two do you want me to release to you?" Everyone was yelling, "Barabbas!" I was amazed that Pilate asked the crowd, "What shall I do with Jesus?" Everyone started yelling, "Crucify Him, crucify him!" "What evil has he done?" No one answered that directly but kept yelling to crucify him. The crowd was working up into a frenzy and Pilate looked like he was getting nervous took some water and said I am innocent of the blood of this just person.

I'm not sure if I can describe the rest it is so extremely brutal. The sheer brutality of what happened is excruciating and painful beyond words. They took my Lord and whipped Him unmercifully. I learned later that the soldiers led Jesus down the the Praetorium. They put a garment colored in purple which symbolizes royalty, thrust a crown made of thorns on his head, and became to taunt him. Ridiculing him, laughing at him, saluting him, "Hail, King of the Jews!" Meanwhile, spitting on him and putting a limp reed in his hand to symbolize a scepter. Doing this to a completely innocent man, not found to have done anything wrong? What kind of justice is this?

When they came out of the Praetorim, I couldn't even recognize Him. It was heart wrenching and that doesn't even come close to the description of what I saw. He was staggering and falling to his knees under the weight of the cross he had on his back. The soldiers grabbed Simon the Cyrene from the crowd and told him to carry the cross up to Golgotha. In the physical shape they had beaten Jesus, I doubt anyone could have supported the cross and walk down the Via De La Roza. My eyes are stinging with grief as I write knowing what I saw next. Hearing the cry of pain as they nailed Jesus through his feet and hands to the cross and then hoisting it up into place. Why was my Lord going through this humiliating, degrading, unjust cruel death when he was innocent? He was being crucified between two robbers who were found guilty of a crime! Their placards upon their crosses bearing their crimes and Jesus's bearing his which stated King of the Jews.

I think back to yesterday morning at 9 a.m. and now to today at 9 a.m. when they put Jesus on the cross and I am stunned and appalled. The hours seemed to drag watching him writhe in pain and seeing the life draining from his body as he hung on that cross. Hour upon hour upon hour. At noon the sky darkened. I had never seen that happen before. At 3 p.m. I heard Jesus cry out, "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?" I saw someone run up to him with a sponge filled with sour wine and offered it to him. Again, Jesus cried out loudly. "Father, into Your hands, I commit My spirit." After He said that, I knew he had breathed his last breath.

I watched as the soldiers went to the robbers to break their legs but when they came to Jesus, they could tell he was dead. They pierced his side. Blood and water flowed from Him.

I heard many who had come down to watch wailing in anguish and beating their breasts as they finally recognized what they had done. Could it have been the darkening of the sky, the earthquake, or hearing Jesus after 6 excruciatingly painful hours hanging on the cross cry out with such vitality - Father, into Your hand I commit My Spirit that made them realize the travesty of what just occurred?"

Thankfully, Pilate gave Joseph of Armithea permission to take Jesus's body. He wrapped it in linen and placed it in a tomb which had never been used before and placed a large stone before it. There wasn't any time to prepare His body properly as the Sabbath started at 6 p.m. and no work was to be done at that time.

My Lord and Savior has died. This morning the tears of heaven are raining down.